The new millennium has seen some of us stray away from the traditional proposal, but a large number of us are keeping it old school. We still have a preference for the picturesque proposal: the groom getting down on one knee, the unsuspecting bride-to-be bawling her eyes out, the band playing softly in the background.
The element of surprise is perhaps the most essential part of that perfect proposal. The moment loses some of its magic if the future bride anticipates it.
Of course, concealing your proposal plan is easier said than done. You can’t just waltz up to her and inquire about her ring size without arousing some suspicion.
How, then, can you find out her ring size without ruining the big surprise?
Here are 8 ways to discreetly get the job done:
1. Ask Her Family or Friends
Few people know your significant other like her family and friends. They did, after all, practically raise her.
And that’s an understatement as far as her family is concerned.
In any case, there’s a good chance that her mother or sister, for example, has shared jewelry with her in the past and remembers how well it fit her finger. That said, discreetly reaching out to them is a good first step.
2. Have Her Try On “Someone Else’s” Ring
If you think you’re sneaky enough, you could always have her try on “someone else’s” ring. Just purchase a cheap ring, take note of its size, and come up with an excuse for her to try it on.
You could, for instance, tell her that you purchased the ring for a female relative and think that her finger is similar in size to this relative’s.
3. Have One of Her Close Friends Inquire About It
Precious as they may be, diamonds aren’t a girl’s best friend. Your partner’s most precious friends are actually the people who rally behind her when she needs their support the most.
Which is why they’d be thrilled to help you give her the gift of a surprise proposal.
You need only approach them and ask them to subtly pick her brain for her ring size. Convince one of them to go shopping with her and veer off into a jewelry shop in order to try some rings on or, if one of her friends is especially cunning (and engaged or married), you could work together to get your partner to try on that friend’s engagement ring.
4. Borrow One of Her Rings...Without Permission
Borrowing someone’s things without permission isn’t a particularly nice thing to do. Since your intentions are good in this case, however, we’ll give you a pass.
You should be able to get one of your significant other’s seldom worn rings to a jeweler and put it back where you found it before she ever notices it’s gone. The jeweler should be able to approximate her ring size if the ring you supply fits your partner’s finger nicely.
And if she does notice that her ring is missing before you get the chance to return it? Deny, deny, deny, and suddenly “find” it underneath the couch the next day.
5. Trace One of Her Rings
Sometimes you just can’t sneak one of her rings out of the house without getting caught. Maybe she only has one ring that she wears daily. Perhaps the ring has so much sentimental value to her that she’d notice its absence in a heartbeat.
In any case, there is a good solution to this problem. Simply trace one or her rings on a piece of paper and bring the sheet of paper to a jeweler. You could also use her ring to make an impression on a bar of soap and bring the bar to the jeweler.
And, no, your jeweler won’t think you’re weird if you bring a bar of soap to the jewelry shop. Most, if not all, jewelers understand how momentous the occasion is.
If you’re really feeling adventurous (and the season is right), you and your girlfriend could get artsy. Getting her handprint onto a sheet of paper around Thanksgiving, for example, would greatly help your jeweler.
6. Compare Your Finger Size to Hers
Those of you who own any rings and know your own ring sizes might be able to use that knowledge to your advantage. That is to say, you could compare your finger size to hers to get some idea of what her ring size is.
Of course, this is by no means a surefire method; men's jewelry sizes typically differ from women's. It at least, however, gives you and your jeweler some information to work with.
7. Size Her Finger While She Sleeps
Yep. It has come to this. Like some thief in the night, you might have to tiptoe around her bedroom in your Jordan’s with a tape measure or ring sizer in hand.
Needless to say, this method should be a last resort—meaning that the first 7 methods failed for one reason or another.
8. Ask Her
Maybe you just can’t be bothered to sneak around or coordinate events with her friends. You’d rather just get the information out of her yourself.
You still, however, want your proposal plans to remain secret. So how do you get the info out of her as inconspicuously as possible?
By being nothing short of a mastermind. Seriously. There aren’t many guys who can pull this one off.
In all seriousness, though, making her think you’re asking for someone else’s benefit is imperative. Tell her that you’re asking in order to buy your mother or grandmother the perfect Christmas or birthday gift.
If All Else Fails, Get the Ring Resized
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you fail, and that’s okay. Most jewelers will work with you to resize an engagement ring if it doesn’t quite fit your beloved’s finger.
If, however, getting things right the first time is extremely important to you, we’d recommend that you just bite the bullet and take her to a jeweler to get her finger sized. That is, after all, the best way to find out her ring size.
This is especially true if you're trying to get her a custom engagement ring.
So how are you planning on finding out your partner’s ring size? Are you using any of the methods above, or are you going a completely different route? Are you confident that this route won't arouse any suspicion?
Have a question? We can help!
Gage Diamonds is Chicago's premier jewelry showroom and online retailer of engagement rings, wedding bands, and fine jewelry. We offer a selection of dazzling handpicked diamonds in a variety of shapes, including oval, pear, marquise, emerald and princess.
We’re committed to helping you find the ring of your dreams. For inspiration, browse our website or set up an appointment with a member of our trusted staff at our in-person showroom.
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